i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
