U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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