My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
