does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
