This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
