why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
