So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
