he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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