I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
