im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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