Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
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