He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize