I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
