Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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