just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
