Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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