I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize