Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize