honey bunches of taint.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
