it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
