My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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