you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
