Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
