I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
