Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize