Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
