Your dad touched me again.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
