R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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