Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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