Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
