she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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