forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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