Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
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