this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
