I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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