My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Panties = found
Randomize
