I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
