i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
