Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
