Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
