this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Houston, we have a blender
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
