I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
