If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
