Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Hippo gnu deer
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
