capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
