we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
