I can text with my tongue
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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