she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
