Your face is a jimmy john
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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