got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
