READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Randomize
