My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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