Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
