I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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