I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
