I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
