um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
