This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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