9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
