How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
