I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize