I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize