babies were throwing up all over the place
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
