So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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