He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
